Predicament.

So. I was approached with the opportunity to complete #23 on my list--Camp out on the beach
the catch?
I could get in trouble...

okay. here's the deal.
It's for a friend's twenty-first birthday.
Yep, you guessed it. There will be lots of drinking.
Which, you know, whatever. If you're of age, that's your deal...
buuuuut, most of the people that will be there will be minors
and I know they can get rambunctious
If you put a few drinks in them? I can only imagine...

At first, I agreed to go... but now, I'm kinda not feeling too good about it
They say they know how to hide it, and I'm sure they do. But still, if we get caught, that's my butt that gets in trouble.
What would that say?
Plus, I'd be amongst the oldest ones there, so a lot of it would fall on me...

I just hate it, because these are a group of friends that I feel I've drifted from a bit, and the fact that they invited me means a lot. And I want to go. I want to keep the connection. I don't want them to think I'm lame. I can hold my own.
But, then I think about it.
I'm 21.
Why would I want to be with a bunch of 17 year olds?
Haven't I left high school back in high school?
Why would I want to fit with them...
shouldn't I be the example?

I just hate it. Because I feel the pressure from them. That they see me as lower or whatever for not doing these things. Then I miss out on a lot of the jokes and stuff. And I'm just left out.

Maybe that's okay.
I mean, I wouldn't have to drink, and they know I wouldn't...but that's quite a risk
Plus, I don't know how I would handle it...
I know it would break my heart seeing such precious people--some of the youth I've fought for spiritually--drinking and all that...
I don't know if this sensitive heart of mine can take it.